Christmas Spirit

It’s been quite a few years since I have been away from my family on Christmas and I was bummed about it most of last week. It made me think a lot about the Christmas spirit, why I love the holiday so much and what it meant to me to be away from family.

For as long as I can remember, I have always loved Christmas and as a non-Christian, I’ve loved it for reasons other than celebrating the birth of Christ. To me, it feels like one of the few times when the world (and by that, I now mean, the western world) stops for a day or two and I can simply enjoy my family, stuff my face with yummy foods and be altogether lazy.

Some of fondest memories of Christmas take me back to being a kid growing up in the middle of nowhere PA. Even at a time when, my family didn’t have much money, and my brother and I received one gift from Santa, and the rest at the after Christmas sales, I remember gathering at my uncle’s on Christmas morning to exchange gifts with my cousins. All of us sitting in a circle, opening our gifts one at a time and oohing and awwing at each other’s gifts. It was the time spent with family that mattered most.

After that, one of my favorite Christmas season’s was my senior year in college – when my roommates and I got a real Christmas tree for our house – my first real tree ever. I loved it! We also went all out that year – buying each other stocking stuffers, loads of candies and small gifts. My family had always done Christmas decorations on a small scale – that year, we went all out. And after that year, I’ve never been happy with a fake Christmas tree.

As I became an “adult” in corporate America, I remember being focused on spending a lot of time in the kitchen – cooking all kinds of new dishes – in a sense to prove that I could be both the working girl and a good wife. It was always a terribly busy time for a corporate associate, but I remember being home and cooking a nice spread. Creating a sense of hearth and home.

In recent years, I have wanted to create new traditions with my family, which includes tree trimming and Christmas cookie baking with my brother and sister in law. With them getting the sap on their hands when putting up the lights (I hate that part, and they are really good at it) in exchange for whatever kinds of cookies they wanted. It’s been really fun having an extra weekend with them to celebrate the holidays.

This year, I definitely felt that gap of spending various parts of the season with them and with friends. Enjoying my traditions.

That’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy my Christmas this year. In fact, it was a lovely weekend – just different.

On Friday, our team at work surprised us with Christmas gifts and we sang carols together in the office. One of my friends from work invited a bunch of us mentor lawyers to his place in New Delhi for dinner. The bubbly was flowing and we all really enjoyed spending time together outside of the office and not talking about work. Saturday, S and I went to the Crown Marriott in Gurgaon for brunch, joining some Australian friends. It was a gorgeous all you can eat, all you can drink buffet. Later, since I couldn’t be in Baltimore, S and I spent the evening watching the Wire. Sunday, S and I met another friend from the office at the Delhi Golf Course – limited to 3000 members – a veritable who’s who of the Delhi elite. It was a great place to people watch – and see peacocks. 4 females and a male dancing with his feathers open to attract them – I’m told it’s good luck. While I won’t turn away from good luck, I know I am already so blessed to be far from home and still be able to enjoy Christmas – making new friends and new memories.

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday and enjoyed it with your own particular traditions.

The flip side

I've talked a bit about the benefits of being an expat in India. Well, here's one of the down sides. Being sick in a foreign country while on your own kinda sucks.

Last Friday, I had the chills and my body ached. I couldn't imagine what was wrong, but instead of going out with the girls, I went to bed early. I woke up Saturday with stomach issues. Now being in India, I have had and have come to expect that from time to time you will get Delhi belly. It's pretty much a given. But I knew right away this was different. After a couple of hours, I decided it was time to get a medical opinion. Unfortunately, my family doc, my sister in law - was not available for a trans-contintental consultation.

So I called my insurance company. Yes, some things never change. Once I figured out what hospitals where participants, off I went. I have visited doctors in India before, but mostly friends of the family. This time I just went to a hospital. I walked to the receptionist and they registered me and made me an appointment immediately with a gastroenterologist - no need to see a general practitioner first. And, as soon as I paid, I could go see him. And the price, just 500 rupees.

I saw the doctor and he prescribed some antibiotics and other meds. As I went to the pharmacy, I felt myself getting lightheaded and had to sit for a few minutes. Now, I tend to think of myself as a pretty independent gal, but at that moment, I would have loved to have had someone there with me - just to hold my hand or keep me from fainting. Since that wasn't an option, I powered through.

I finally made it home and did nothing but sleep for the next two days. Ugh. I can't remember when I have ever felt so poorly. I made it to work for a bit on Monday - mostly because I was sick of my bed at that point and went back to the doctor yesterday to find out what was wrong.

Based on my symptoms (as described via email), my sister in law concluded that I had dysentery - oooh, well, that sound awful and third worldly. However, it turns out I have e-coli. I have no idea what strand, but whatever strand it is, it makes you want to do nothing but sleep and makes you feel just overall unwell.

I'm on the mend now - and hopefully will be fully recovered by Christmas. The thing about being ill is that even at home it isolates you - and here, where I am already isolated from loved ones, it is even more isolating. and while I don't normally see myself as a whiner when I'm ill, getting sick this close to the holidays, without loved ones just really sucked. Thanks for letting me whine.

A few of my favorite things...

I'm sitting in the Continental Lounge and I can't believe it is already time to head back to India. This week feels like it has flown by and actually seems a bit surreal. It was not nearly enough time to see everyone I wanted to see and spend time with but I'm grateful for the time I had and that I did get to see or talk to so many of my friends. Also, a big thank you to those of you who let me stay with you or offered me a place to stay in Baltimore - it is really weird not having my place to go home to at the end of the day.

A few people have asked me what I miss the most while away. When I first left, I had no idea what I would find, wouldn't find and what I would miss. While I can find almost everything in India (at a price, of course) here's a list of a few of my favorite things that I will miss most.

First, and foremost is my niece, Seva. She has grown so much in the last three months and just has the most amazing smile. Her whole face lights up and each and every time I see it, it captures my heart. So while I do get to visit with her on skype, it is no comparison to seeing her face light up when I say Good Morning to her.

Next are my family and peeps. I cannot tell you how much I miss being able to meet up for a glass of wine or a bite, share some friendly gossip, complain about work and just hear about all of the wonderful day to day things that are happening. The time difference between India and the US of 10.5 hours (yes, there is a 1/2 hour in there - that's just India) makes it tough for me to really talk to people during the week, so I'm lucky if I can catch up with anyone by phone. I'm always happy to wake up to a new email and hear what's been happening. Even if it is just that you had a crappy day at work.

Other than those things - the things I miss the most in no particular order are:

1. Long Hot Showers - I totally miss being able to lounge in the shower knowing that the hot water is going to run out for a long time. Now, I will go back to timing my showers to five minutes or less. I guess it's a good thing I cut 10 inches off my hair, who knows how much time that will save me in the shower.

2. Orange juice - the funny thing is that I don't drink OJ a lot, but now that I can't find it - well, there's stuff that is passed off as orange juice, but it doesn't even taste like the stuff from concentrate - I find that I crave it all the more.

3. Good wine at decent prices - as many of you know, I enjoy a good glass of wine (or two), however, in India, the local wines (of which there are only two vintners - Grover and Sula) are not great (ok, they are barely drinkable) and I guess I've become enough of a wine snob over the years, that I can't really drink bad wine, and I have a really hard time spending $50 for a bottle of so so wine - so I'm "stuck" drinking vodka. or beer.

4. Sandwiches - I was at Mount Washington Tavern this week, just a normal everyday bar/restaurant, and I wanted to order about a dozen of their sandwiches - burgers, cuban sandwiches, roast beef, philly cheesesteaks (which I normally will only eat at McGerk's or Pat's), turkey subs. I could go on, but my mouth is watering.

5. Salads - I miss lettuce. Enough said.

6. Safe drinking water - I am always on alert and have to ask the bartender if the ice cubes in my drink are made from filtered water. Alcohol unfortunately does not kill everything.

7. Snow and the holiday season - I'm really going to miss seeing snow out my window - I hope you have a snowy white Christmas and post lots of pictures for me to see. This is one of my favorite seasons and while I did make some lasagna, scones and cookies while I was here - I will miss having the big Xmas dinner with the family and presents under the tree.

8. I would miss coffee - but I have packed 8 pounds of it in my bag (along with two bottles of sugar free flavored syrup) - there are certain things you just shouldn't live without.

9. Driving - I really do miss the freedom of driving myself around.

10. Cheese - we eat so many different types of it - most Indians eat only paneer. Can you imagine a life without mozzarella and provolone? What about whiz?

So, I guess that's my top ten. What do you miss most when you are away from home.

Hinglish

My mind is befuddled. This year alone, I have spoken English, French (sort of), Gujurati (the language of the State in India my family is from), Hindi (again sort of), UK English (it is its own language) and now I am learning Hinglish.

What is Hinglish? It is the Indian English based on the language of the Britishers and a some words and phrases that are simply, made up... Here's a bit of a primer.

1. You do not live in India or Delhi, you stay there. And you don't just say, I stay in Delhi, you would say, I stay in Delhi only.

2. Only gets added to the end of many phrases, as in - I must finish this project only. It doesn't mean you only have one project to finish, just that you are finishing a project.

3. Shifting - you don't move, you shift, as in - I am shifting flats from Gurgaon to Delhi. I'm not moving my desk across the room, but I am shifting desks.

4. Prepone - we are familiar with the word postpone, this is its opposite. As in, I set a meeting for 3 pm but I must prepone it to 2 pm. (Honestly, I didn't realize we were lacking in a word for this, but it is kind of catchy)

5. Babudum - I'm not sure of the spelling, or if this is yet really in a dictionary of sorts - but in common use - it means bureaucracy - There was so much babudum involved in the Commonweath Games that everything is behind schedule.

6. Unless and until - this phrase is a favorite of the lawyers I work with. I'll ask, when will you be finished with the project? I should have it finished at 1, probably, unless and until something else happens. Even for a lawyer the lack of a straight answer (which I have in the past been wrongly accused of never giving) is frustrating - so, unless something happens you'll maybe, probably finish the project on time. Sigh.

7. Till - UGH - a major pet peeve of mine. As I've explained to the lawyers - till means to till the soil, It does not mean, until, or for, or of or any other preposition you want to substitute it for.

8. Mail - as a substitute for email - another pet peeve - Mail is snail mail, not email. I don't even care if you use the hyphen between the e and mail.

As you can see from this primer - there is much reason my brain (which seems to have stayed a bit blond in India) is quite befuddled.

For those of you who are familiar with Hinglish - please feel free to add to the list.

Some scary news

Every now and then I'm reminded that where I've moved is not as safe as I was (despite the Wire and the murder rates in Baltimore). Yesterday I received an email from the State Department that stated the following:

According to press reports and local police authorities an explosion occurred in Varanasi at the Dashashwamedh Ghat near the Vishwanath Temple at around 6:30 this evening. Media reports indicate 20-25 people were injured including a number of foreigners with one fatality. Police are on high alert across India. At this time, the motive for the attack is not known.

Varanasi is a very well known tourist destination and in fact my friends were there this past weekend. Thankfully before the attack.

As close to home, so to speak was a gang rape that was widely reported in the Delhi papers. A young lady who works for an outsourcing organization was gang raped after she was dropped off after work.

The way that most outsourcing organizations, including mine, operate is that the employees are provided with a group taxi service that picks them up for work and drops them off afterwards. In some instances you are dropped off at your front door, in others, at some distance from there. This particular young lady was dropped off about 100m from her home. Apparently the men had learned her schedule and had been watching her for some time. They kidnapped her from the drop site, drove her away in a van and raped her. Luckily she has survived and is fighting back.

These things don't happen often but they do happen. Vigilance is necessary so now, if any of our female lawyers need to stay late to get a deliverable out, first we need to discourage it, if we there is no other alternative we stay with them until they are finished, we put them in the cab to go home, they have to have someone receive them at their destination (most of the women do not live alone so this hasn't been an issue so far), they are dropped off at their front door and they must call us when they arrive.

One of the lawyers in my group remarked that sometimes it is as though if you are a young woman and you are out by yourself at night, it is like an invitation to be harassed. There's a lot wrong with that. Not only does it feel like it blames the woman, but it restricts her freedom. Not to mention her safety. In a way, it can also act to restrict her ability to get ahead. If you are prohibited from staying late at work, does this mean you get less difficult projects?

While safety issues are paramount and trump all else, how do you balance the other interests and freedoms that are being impinged upon?

How the Other Half Lives

In India, I'm actually part of that other half. What exactly does that mean? I'm getting super spoiled living there. First, as I think I've mentioned before, I have my own car and driver. Someone who is there for me to call on every day to take me to the gym, the grocery, out to Delhi etc.

I have to say, it is a blessing since I couldn't drive in India, but it is a strange. So now, if I ask him to come at 7am so I can go to the gym, I ask him the night before and that means that if I actually don't feel like going the next morning, I have to fight my guilt that it took him an hour to get to me and my desire to stay in bed. Guilt usually wins. It does take a bit of planning and knowing what you are doing the following day, but I never have to worry about driving home after a few drinks!

My driver, Madan, is really great - and he loves my dog. As you know, I found Jai a daycare to go to during the week. So Jai comes with me in the car as I get driven to the gym or work (if I go to the gym, he stays with Madan) and then Madan drives him to the farm - and stays and plays with him - before he drives him home for his afternoon nap. Madan and Jai get along really well - to the point that Madan has told me that Jai is his best friend. (Pause for, awww). Jai may rebel against coming back to the US, but we'll have that chat in a year.

While I'm at work a housekeeper cleans my flat (apartment) every day other than Sunday. That means, the bathrooms, the floors, dusting, and the kitchen - including any dishes that I may have left. I haven't done dishes in 3 months! My only chore is to do my own laundry. And if I have drycleaning, I leave it in the flat in a bag - it gets picked up and dropped off. As for ironing, there's a presswalla in one of the buildings in my apartment complex who irons each item for no more than 3 INR - which is the equivalent of $.07 per item. And if I bring him some items on a Saturday, they are finished in a couple of hours.

While I do go to the grocery store about once a week - I could just place an order and have it all delivered (at no additional cost). In fact, as I mentioned in one of my first posts - just about everyone delivers - including the wine store, the baker (we finally found this amazing french bakery which real croissants and baguettes!), and restaurants of all sorts.

Ok, yes, I do have to feed myself if I don't order out - which I surprisingly don't d2. I suppose I could hire a part-time cook - at a cost of no more than 3000 INR per month or about $45, but it seems a bit much, don't you think? Besides, since my office provides us with lunch, most days I don't want much more than a light dinner. But since I've been dreading the office lunches lately, maybe I should consider this...

Of course, I need to be done in time for my bi-weekly yoga class - where our yoga instructor comes to our flat to provide 3 on 1 instruction. I'm wondering if I can just ask her to do the yoga for me :)

It's amazing how much free time this provides you and while I am tired after a hard days work - I kind of miss doing some of these things for myself. Not cleaning the bathrooms though.

Land of the Peeing Man

My friends have I have taken to calling India "the Land of the Peeing Man" especially when we see things that just don't seem to make a lot of sense.

Those of you who have been to India know exactly what I am talking about. For example, on my 20 minute ride to work everyday, I see no less than 5-7 men peeing on the side of the road. Every day. I was (and am) perplexed by this phenomenon. At first you think, well, maybe there aren't enough toilets, but I never see a woman squatting to pee on the side of the road.

So, I decided a couple of weeks ago to pose the question to my eldest cousin who was visiting me. First off, it seems that he doesn't see it as any big deal (and probably takes advantage of this from time to time). He believes that the reason is that there are not enough public restrooms. To which, I remarked, first, why not just hold it (seriously, can you not hold it for an extra hour or so until you find a restroom?) and two, if that's the case, why do I never see women on the side of the road?

The answer to number one was simply, why hold it when you don't have to? HA! I guess I had that coming. and the answer to the second, was a bit more infuriating - but probably not terribly untrue - women are not out as much - they are mostly at home so they don't have as great a need to use the public facilities.

I take issue with these responses for a couple of reasons. One, EW - it is just simply unsanitary and unhygenic (is that a word?) to continue this behavior - and we are too civilized (or should be) to just bow to these human urges. And I would prefer, that if you really need to go - walk a little further away from the road, behind a tree or building, so I don't need to see you. Apparently, that is too much to ask.

Which leads me to point number two, India is still a very male driven society, and thy right to pee on the side of the road will not be bowed by any sense of decorum. Women are treated, maybe not as second class citizens, but not on the same par as men. The fact is that while the number of females in the work force does continue to increase every day, it is still greatly outweighed by the number of men in the work force. The number of women who strive for higher education so that they can get their Mrs. has not dwindled greatly.

This is in part due to the culture and societal norms there. It is the norm that once you get married that your husband and his family tell you that you no longer going to work and that your job is take care of house and home. While I see some changes in this regard - it is only in the major cities and then only on occasion. It is still a matter of pride that the husband be the major and only bread winner of the household and that the wife have her role within the house.

So it seems that until women are out of the house and telling their sons and husbands not to pee on the side of the road, or joining them on the side of the road, India will continue to be the Land of the Peeing Man.

Another Point of View

A couple of weeks ago, I was in the car with my cousin’s wife T, on our way to visit the Qutb Minar (the world’s tallest brick minaret, whose original purpose – aside from calling Muslims to prayer – is still a subject of debate). While driving, she asked me the inevitable question (I say inevitable because whenever I come to India, everyone, at one point or another, asks) of whether I planned to marry again. As though, if I said yes, I could just snap my fingers and the groom to be would appear. (Ha!) This of course led to a conversation about arranged marriages (apparently, I could snap my fingers and a groom could appear). I explained to her that I have always (and still do) recoil at the idea of arranged marriages, but have always been curious about how they work.

T married my cousin in an arranged marriage about ten years ago and after the wedding moved into my cousin’s apartment with his parents. So, not only did she hardly know her groom, she had to get to know him amidst living with my aunt and uncle. Apparently, this is not an unusual situation. She explained to me that at times it could be difficult, since she not only had to learn how to navigate marriage, but also to figure out the expectations of her in-laws. And I thought the first year of a marriage where you are “in love” is hard!

When we talked more about arranged marriages, I explained to her that I just could not understand how anyone could commit to spending their life (in India the divorce rate is about 1 in 100 marriages up from about 8 in 1000) with someone they barely know. What if they have a personality trait that you hate, they treat their parents’ badly, they have a nasty temper, you don’t agree about how to spend money etc. - all the things that you might consider a deal breaker while dating – what do you do?

T explained to me that in many marriages she has seen the two people are together because of a commitment and by the time you know anything that might be a dealbreaker, you probably have children together. It is not unusual, in marriages she has seen, for the husband and wife to have nothing else in common and to not really speak to each other.

I asked her whether when she met my cousin they talked about each other’s expectations of a marriage. For example, do you ask them what they expect out of marriage, out of a partnership. She said no. Our concept of marriage, as a partnership with someone you share common interests is “foreign” here. The idea of marriage is simply one of commitment and culture. If you are fortunate, then you like the person you are married to (or you may like them over time, or you put up with them and vice versa) and you create a partnership, maybe. But that isn’t the end goal. The end goal is to get married and have children, so that when you get older you have someone to care for and care for you. To not be married by 30 is still odd (although not so odd in larger cities) and to be unmarried at my age is unheard of.

I had always thought that arranged marriages worked because both people hadn’t dated so you had no one to compare your spouse to and your expectations of a person were not marred by comparing them to someone else you had dated (he’s nice, but not as funny as the last guy I dated). Instead, it seems that it isn’t just that your expectations of what your spouse should be like but also what a marriage is for are quite different.

What do you think?

Diwali – It’s all about the Crackers

I celebrated Diwali with my family in Ahmedabad, Gujurat (which I have now been told is in Western India and Northwest India, as I’ve always said). It’s the first Diwali I’ve spent in India since I was about 7 – which I don’t really remember.
Diwali is the biggest holiday in India – like Christmas and New Year’s combined. It’s a five-day festival in Hinduism, Jainism and Sikhism and marks the beginning of a new year (based on the lunar calendar). In Delhi, we had two days off to celebrate, but in some places, like Gujurat, the holiday is for the entire 5 days after the New Year.

The name Diwali is a contraction of the word "Deepavali", which translates into row of lamps. Diwali involves the lighting of small clay lamps filled with oil to signify the triumph of good over evil. In each legend, myth and story of Diwali, lies the significance of the victory of good over evil; and it is with lighting of homes that Diwali is used to signify unto light — the light that empowers us to commit ourselves to good deeds, that which brings us closer to the light of higher knowledge dispelling all ignorance. (Thanks Wikipedia)

Living in the US, we always acknowledged Diwali and celebrated with a puja, a religious celebration, and getting gifts from mom, but nothing quite as elaborate as I saw this year. First, I was told that this is Diwali season, which requires a whole new set of snack type foods in everyone’s homes – for when people come to visit. There’s dhai vada and kachori chaat and Indian sweets galore (I’m not a fan – way too sweet for me) – and if you want to know what these are – try your local hole in the wall Indian restaurant. While I love the food items – for me this meant that as I visited the houses of 4 of my uncles and 2 of my cousins, and one of my cousins’ in-laws’ homes (all within 3 ½ days) – I had these foods at each house.
In addition, on Friday afternoon – or the third day of Diwali, at the appropriate appointed hour (astrological timings are very important in Hinduism), I attended Laxmi puja (wearing my second sari of the week – more on that another time, but putting these on and wearing them is not for the faint of heart). Goddess Laxmi is the Goddess of Wealth and Prosperity and is celebrated at the end of the old year/beginning of the new year – thanking her for her blessings in the past year and asking for those blessings to continue in the new year. It is said that the Goddess like cleanliness and hardworking people and will not come to visit and bless any home that is not clean or contains lazy people. (I wonder if she looks at clutter as unclean? And what happens if housecleaner refuses to come that day?)

In any event, we receive the blessings of God and that’s when the fireworks began. Literally. And they seemed to never end. Fireworks or Crackers, as they are known here, can be purchased in all forms – not just your simple sparklers (which are used here to light other firecrackers and not to be enjoyed on their own) and small rocket bombs. Oh no, we had things called bullet bombs, 600 beats firecrackers, flowerpedals (or large mountain of fire), chakra – which were spinning circle of fire and sparks, Chilli Bombs, Laxmi Bombs – well, you get the idea. There are no town or city sponsored fireworks, each individual household does their own – and apparently, there are no noise or pollution restrictions – so on Friday night, fireworks were ongoing straight in to the wee morning hours and on Saturday, the actual night of New Years – into Sunday morning – they never stopped. It was really cool to see various parts of the cityscape light up with fireworks on all sides, but I must admit the first time I heard a cracker go off, I ducked and looked around. I’m from Baltimore – and there, those sounds only come from gun shots!

In all, it was a nice to see my family and experience Diwali in a whole new way.

Shakalaka Baby

A few years ago, I saw the musical “Bombay Dreams” in London. It’s a simple story created in the mirror of Bollywood movies where a poor man from the slums falls in love with a rich girl whose father is a movie director but is also the fiancé of another man.

Those of you who know anything about Bollywood know that the bulk of the movies produced are formulaic – romance between a boy from the wrong side of the tracks with rich girl, whose father dislikes the boy on sight. There is drama abound with at least 3 or 4 musical sequences, one of which involves the boy and girl being stuck in the rain while the poor girl is stuck in a white outfit of sorts. Despite this, the movies are quite chaste and kissing in movies has only just started in the last couple of years and is quite minimal. You NEVER see anything more than that, although it may be hinted at in the most obvious of ways (girl and boy come out of barn pulling hay out of their hair and clothing etc.)

I was thinking about the musical (and its catchy but very cheesy tune, Shakalaka Baby - http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=shakalaka+baby&docid=278041985602&mid=00A452628FB5CECE678E00A452628FB5CECE678E&FORM=LKVR13#) last night on my way to another musical. This one was called Zangoora – about a prince rescued at the last minute during the murder of his parents, only to grow up as a gypsy - being shown at a new venue called the Kingdom of Dreams. Zangoora ultimately falls in love with a princess and has to battle evil on his way to regain his rightful title. It is marketed as India’s answer to Broadway and the Biggest Bollywood Musical Ever!

Now the truth is that musical theater is not very popular as far as I can tell, so I’m not sure there is a need to answer “Broadway”. And, I’m not sure how you qualify as the biggest Bollywood Musical, but – the show was entertaining, even if the acting and storyline were a bit cheesy. It delivered a fun evening and included a number of songs that have been popular through the ages, including “Laila” from one of my favorite movies “Qurbaani” which I saw over and over and over again when I was a child (and one whose song lyrics I still pretty much know by heart).

While I enjoy seeing action/adventure movies or ridiculous rom/coms or comedies in general, I can wait to see those movies when they come to HBO. I generally go to the movies to see something that is going to make me think or say something about the human condition or the human spirit. Movies like that are not the norm in India. I find that most movies here are made to provide an escape from the everyday. Lighthearted or action films where disbelief is constantly surrendered – since the plot and dialogue are often incredulous and people don’t just break into musical sequences. I think this makes sense here. Movies have for a long time been the sole source of entertainment for the common man. Television was not something everyone could afford and only the wealthy got “channels” or cable. Movies were cheap and new movies are and were constantly released. So even the day laborer who worked in the fields for wages could afford a weekly break to the movies. In a place where life can be difficult and the gap between the haves and have nots can be so great – movies became the one thing that all people could share. And why would you pay to go see a depressing movie about war – when for a relatively paltry sum, you can spend three hours in a world that looks like yours but is airy and fun – and where, when it’s over, you can come out whistling Shakalaka Baby.

My blond weekend.

No, I didn’t dye my hair – although it would have been interesting to see what kind of looks I would have gotten if I had! And apologies to all my blond friends – who are extraordinarily intelligent, and defy the stereotype.

I consider myself to be pretty organized – in this case – not so much. A couple weekends ago, I organized a trip to Agra to see the Taj Mahal with my co-workers – who were then my friends (now, maybe not so much). To protect their privacy, as they play a role in my blog, they will be known only as C, L and S.

In any event, we all planned to go to Agra at the full moon so we could get tickets to see the Taj Mahal by moonlight. I was tasked with getting our train tickets, re-organizing our hotel and getting the tickets to view the Taj Mahal by moonlight. So, the week before, I did the needful (this is seriously a phrase used to indicate you are doing or have done a task – please, please do not start using this).

Booking train tickets has become more convenient than it used to be – you can now do this on-line rather than going to the station. Train travel in India is very common, inexpensive and very convenient. Far more common then flying to destinations – even if train travel would require 10-12 hours and a flight would be one or two hours. Trains are really how the masses travel – as would become all too obvious to me and my traveling companions.

My friends and I arrived at the train station at 6:45 Saturday morning for our train – only to learn that we had been waitlisted – something which was actually readily apparent from the print-out of our online tickets – which I had failed to notice. Trains in India commonly overbook because people will book themselves on several trains and cancel (at a very very nominal cost), so overbooking allows trains to fill up. If you are waitlisted, you need to check to see if you have gotten off the wait list about 4 hours in advance. We did not.

In my defense, when I booked the tickets, I checked the box that said that if all of us couldn’t be in the same compartment then I did not want to book. I would have thought that being waitlisted would mean that none of us were in the same (or any) compartment so that my booking would not have gotten through. Lesson learned – and a fair warning to any of you who might come to travel here.

In any event, after learning that we were waitlisted, we tried to find the ticketing officer for the train to see what could be done. Meanwhile, L and I ran to the ticket office to see if we could buy tickets for a different class. Tickets for trains are sold in a variety of classes – you can see the various classes and accommodations at the attached - http://www.indiamarks.com/guide/A-Guide-to-Traveling-by-Train-in-India/1144 - and no, it is not out of date.

Since my Hindi is poor and the guy at the ticket office spoke no English, I decided to just get tickets – any class – so we could get on the train before it left the station – and sort out any issues once we got going. This meant that we had general class tickets – with no assigned seats. In a train with a waitlist – this apparently means that you can travel on the train – but you will be standing for the duration of your trip, unless you can find an area to squeeze into a seat. We had no such luck. Luckily the trip was only for a few hours – unfortunately, it was very crowded. They say trains are a mirror into the real India – if that’s the case, India is dirty, smelly and crowded. I had seen this side of India and trains before, but C, L and S had not. It was not their most pleasant experience.

We were grateful to get off the train in Agra and made our way to the hotel. Where we were subject to an upgradation (yes, this is also really a word) – in other words, we were upgraded from two rooms to sharing the Presidential Suite – SWEET! Maybe my luck was changing. The room was great – spacious, with lots of windows, and for some strange reason about a dozen sets of glasses in the dining area.
After settling in, and washing off some of the trauma of the train ride, we set off for Fatepur Sikri – which is located about 20 kilometers (or 40 minutes) outside of Agra. It was the capital of the Mughal Empire for Emperor Akbar – built in joyous celebration of the birth of his son. Akbar, had about 300 wives, officially, 3 main wives and then a huge harem – I’m not sure how he found time to rule – but he was without an heir until he received the blessing of a Sufi fakir from the area. Fatepur Sikri is a beautifully preserved city from the 16th Century. Just outside is Jama Masjid – the largest mosque in India.

We returned back to the hotel and got ready to see the Taj at night. Security around the Taj is pretty tight – you are not supposed to take cell phones in and you are searched before you enter the monument grounds. As such, we decided we would take very little in with us. I thought it made sense to take almost nothing – and so, as I was walking out the door of our room, C asked me if I had my passport and the tickets. Seeing as I was having a blond weekend, I had forgotten both. I thanked C and remarked that if I had forgotten the tickets, that my name would be mud with all of them. I hurried back and grabbed them and we drove off to the Taj. As we were getting checked in, I realized that what I had grabbed was not the tickets, but the receipt for the tickets. Seriously! I couldn’t believe it. I ran out of the building and raced back to the hotel for the tickets. Luckily I arrived back in plenty of time WITH the tickets so we could see the Taj at night.

Despite all of my mishaps, the viewing was beautiful and I was actually able to get my camera’s night setting feature to work – so pictures will follow.

I have been to the Taj Mahal a few times previously – but it never ceases to take my breath away. It is a mausoleum built by Shah Jahan (also a Mughal Emperor and the grandson of Akbar) for his wife Mumtaz, who died giving birth to their 14th child. It is beautiful in its symmetry, the intricate work and structure. From a distance it is simply majestic. From close by you can appreciate the craftsmanship and intricate work that was required. It is easy to see why it is considered one of the Seven Wonders of the World. Although you cannot see the details at night, and you cannot get very close, you are able to see the monument without all of the crowds and you can imagine how it must have appeared to the Emperor seeing it from Agra Fort (where is son imprisoned him for his last years).

It was decided on this trip, that I could never be in charge of any trip related organizing or hold any tickets. I can’t say I blame them.

What are you doing in India?

This is not an existential or philosophical inquiry, at least not yet. I have been asked many times, what I am doing here or going to do here for a year. I am working for a company called CPA Global and they provide legal outsourcing services.

Which I suppose leads to the next question – what is legal outsourcing? In general, it can be a great many things, you can outsource documents to be reviewed in an ongoing litigation matter (which could be millions of pages), it could be due diligence review of contracts in a major acquisition (which could also be millions of pages) and it could be contract review services as well.

Legal Services Outsourcing (also known as Legal Process Outsourcing) is a very nascent industry – and I think very much still in the building out stages. It is growing by leaps and bounds in India and most of the work comes from the US – to try and offset the exorbitant fees incurred by businesses.

In my case, I’ve been assigned (with two other mentor lawyers and a lead lawyer) to work with a team of 12-14 Indian lawyers and we provide services to just one client. The work that comes in is varied and from various jurisdictions. It is my job to review the work and provide comments which range from editing for content as well as grammar, spelling and format. In addition, my role is to help train the lawyers to become more like US lawyers – ultimately so that I am no longer needed.

It’s been interesting so far seeing the differences between US lawyers and Indian lawyers and the training we receive v. what is provided here. During my first week, I learned that being a lawyer in India is like choosing a 4th or 5th tier career, behind things like medicine, engineering, science and commerce. Many people who couldn’t get into those areas in university end up in law school. Thus, the caliber of students in the programs is not as high as you would expect – although this is slowly changing as time passes (this was revealed to me by the lawyers themselves, so I’m not making any judgments here). I don’t think that ultimately that will determine the success or lack thereof of either the business or the lawyer. Lawyering isn’t rocket science, but requires the desire to learn and understand as well as a dollop of common sense. This just means that we better be good teachers – a new role for me.

In addition, there are language issues. Since the Indian lawyers are not native English speakers, there are common issues with grammar and reading comprehension – we use the word “the” at least twice as many times as they do – and there are issues with subjunctive and conditional tenses. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to work in a language that is not my native tongue and then to have to work in it in both the US and the UK versions. (Our client is multinational, so depending on the jurisdiction, the type of English used has to be adjusted!)

Anyway, this is why I’m here and how I’m spending my days.

McDonald's delivers?

I know that this update is long overdue. It's been a week now since I've arrived in Gurgaon and despite my many past visits, India never ceases to amaze me. In frustrating and wonderous ways.

The first thing about India is that no matter what airport I disembark from, I will be assailed with the same "scent" of India. It is one of humidity, spice and humanity. It never fails to remind me where I am.

The second thing about India is that bureaucracy is rampant. For example, getting Jai home was a challenge of epic proportions and I don't think I could have done it without my dear cousins - Titiksha and Parichay - helping me out. They were so kind to come get me at the airport and then spent the next 4 hours - yes, I said 4 hours - with me at the airport cargo area - working the various bureaucracies at the airline office, then the office to get permission to get into the cargo area - which cost 1000 rupees, then permission to go to the duty office - because for some bizarre reason, you have to pay a duty to get your dog out of cargo, then you have to have permission to leave the cargo area and pay yet another toll for passage through the building. As a first experience in India, it was less than impressive. and don't get me started on the fact that all the paperwork was done without computers, on pads of paper which each month get stacked on the prior month's pads, never to be filed away.

After finally leaving the airport, we drove to my apartment. Gurgaon is unlike any place I have been in India. It is known as the mall capital of the country, and as we drove to my new home, I saw that it lives up to the moniker. I went to one of the malls on Saturday to pick up some groceries and run some other errands. Imagine my amazement at: 1. having to pass guards to get into the mall, and 2. seeing a Bath and Beauty Works, Nine West, Nike, Adidas, MAC stores. I am definitely not in Kansas anymore.

When I got to the apartment, I was given a reference list of numbers which included Pizza Hut and McDonalds. Both of which deliver, but don't order a hamburger since there is no beef served at McDonalds. So far, the only place I've seen beef is at the restaurants in the finest hotels. It is the strangest thing to think that I can order a veggie burger, milkshake and fries to be brought to my home, but I can't drink the water from the faucet (for fear of illness) and the only place there is running hot water is in the shower and then only from a very small water heater in the bathroom.
It just goes to show that India is a city of extremes.

I have pretty much settled into my apartment and started work on Monday. It felt very much like the first day of school - what should I wear, will people be nice, will I have someone to sit with at lunch etc. It was fine and more on work later.

The season here at the moment is still monsoon - and the rains are coming down heavy. It has created so many potholes in the roads and so much flooding, that at times traffic is backed up for hours. I am fortunate to have a car and driver so I don't have to deal with the traffic, but to be honest, I don't think I could ever drive in India. Horns are used constantly, just to let you know that a car is behind you, beside you etc. And then there are the cows, who don't follow any traffic rules, but may just be standing or sitting in the middle of the road. They aren't dangerous but they do expect you to go around them. If you weren't traveling at breakneck speeds and then suddenly swerving around them, it might be funny that the docile cow directs traffic.

The other major culture shock is the rupee - at the moment, the exchange rate is roughly 50 rupees to one $1. So I carry around bills of 1000, 500 and 100 rupees at any given time. My groceries for example were over a thousand rupees! or just about 20 bucks.

These are but a few of the random observations I come across and I'll be sure to share more in the days and weeks to come.

Leaving on a Jet Plane...

So here I am sitting in the airport lounge waiting for my flight to India and thinking about all that has happened over the last few days. I finally received word that my work visa had been approved last Friday. After letting CPA Global know that my visa was approved, they booked me on a flight leaving on Wednesday.

I've known I was leaving soon - but the date was a moving target while I waited for the visa and then, all of a sudden I had less than 5 days to pack up, move, get the necessary approvals for Jai to travel and get on a plane.
The flurry of activity began in mach speed.

I spent the weekend running errands, buying some last clothing items and packing. Then I packed and repacked my bags - trying to eliminate items. Finally on Monday, I moved my belongings into storage. It is very strange seeing your furniture and other belongings packed up in a 9X10 box - I just kept thinking - wow, my entire life fits in that tiny box. Maybe I need to buy more shoes -- :-)

By Monday evening, my condo was empty and I gathered myself to clean. I realize now that I really should have hired someone to do it for me - just to avoid the stress, but learning that I was leaving without much lead time, I didn't have anyone to hire on short notice. Needless to say, Monday ended up being a very long day and I drove to DC to stay at my brother's for the remaining of my time in DC at around midnight.

Earlier in the day, I had been told by my airline that in order to bring Jai to India I needed what's called an NOC - or a no objection certificate - from the vet's office in India. Why had no one told me about this before? I called the office at midnight (or 930 am in India) and was told that I should have someone who speaks Hindi call them so they could explain the requirements (apparently my attempts of speaking Hindi, which came out as French, were not sufficient). My cousin, in turn, told me that the NOC could take 3 days. I'm hoping some bribes can be spread around to speed up this process - otherwise I'm not really sure what will happen to Jai when we arrive. Besides, who could object to Jai?

While I hoped to spend Tuesday and part of Wednesday spoiling my niece silly, it was not to be. I left early to drive to Annapolis to get my paperwork completed by the USDA so Jai could board the plane and then had to unload a few things into my storage unit and go to comcast to drop off my cable box. Can I just say, I hate comcast. The lines there are ridiculously long and the staff who work there are not very polite. Maybe they hate comcast too. Lucky for me, on this occasion, the trip was relatively painless and I headed back to DC. I then faxed all of the necessary paperwork to Continental so they could approve Jai for flight - and that's when my problems really began.

Apparently, not only do they need to approve the paperwork but they need pre-clearance from India to ship him over. Argh - what I wouldn't have given for a couple of extra days before travel. At this point, they would ship the papers over and we would hope for the best. At worst, Jai would have to stay at my brother's until he was approved and fly on his own over the weekend. I kept my fingers crossed, but this morning, when I called to check in on Jai's status, I was told that no approval had been received. Sigh.

I typed up all the information that would be needed for his care and shipment and emailed them to my brother and went to shower with a slightly heavy heart. Within the next hour, everything suddenly fell into place - Continental called and said they received approval and Jai could go!! and I received an email from my realtor that someone wants to rent my condo -

I could really use a little less excitement right before I travel!

Now - I wanted to take a moment to thank all of you who have been so helpful and encouraging - and especially send a shout out to my brother and SIL who have let me crash at their pad, hog their child and have been all around awesome.

Ready, Set, - Wait

I have to say that this has been a hard post to write. I have felt so many emotions in the last few weeks.

There is a great sense of excitement and anticipation in planning on moving to another country and starting a new adventure. There are so many things to think about - and I wonder if I am prepared. India is not new to me - but living in India is a completely different experience. I'm nervous about things like how I'll get around, will I remember any of my Hindi, what will my apartment be like, will I have the right things to wear etc. I know that my apartment is relatively European in style, larger then what I live in now (so please come visit!), has a pool, gym, a housecleaner six days a week, laundry service. I also know I can hire someone to drive me around for about $200/month - yes, life as an expat is pretty easy. That being said, it is also strange to think that someone is going to be waiting around for me, for me to decide if I want to go to the market or to the mall - it seems so aristocratic - but it is also the safest way for me to get around, so I guess I'll have to get used to it.

Overlying this sense of anticipation is a the excitement - I am starting a new adventure. I never in a million years would have thought that I would move to India - but here I go. Back to the motherland. I am so excited about seeing the country with fresh eyes - visiting new and different places. I haven't seen India really and there are so many different cultures within the country - it will be amazing to see so much more and try and understand India better.

There is also a great sense of sadness and anxiety about leaving my life here. I love my condo and I absolutely adore all of you who are a part of my life here. I cannot believe how much my life has changed since my divorce and how happy I have been these last few years and that is all because of my friends and family who have shown me such support and love. I wouldn't have the courage to take on this adventure if you hadn't helped me grow these past years. It is in fact difficult to leave - it has been very strange packing up my life, figuring out what pieces come with me and which pieces will stay behind.

I wonder what new pieces I'll pick up over the next year.

I'm Moving - to INDIA! What?

I've been back from Paris for just over 3 weeks. One of the things I get asked the most is if I am bummed about coming back. The truth is that I knew I was there for 2 months and so when it ended, I was ready to return - it may be that being able to see my new baby niece (the most gorgeous creature EVER!) greased the wheels a bit. I do miss Paris - the city, the people I met and feeling like it was the first day of summer vacation everyday. I had an amazing time - and I know I will return to Paris and the next time I go, it will receive me like an old friend and not a tourist. I am so fortunate to feel like I can be at home in a city that I adore but did not grow up in.

Now the title of this post is my move to India. What? I ask myself that several times a day. I am moving to India? In less than a month? How did this happen?

While in Paris, a friend of mine sent me a job listing for a job outside of Delhi India. I received the email about the job in early June - right after I had arrived in Paris and I was in no mood - AT ALL - to think about the fact that I was unemployed, much less to look for a job or consider a job that would take me to India. I wanted to just be. So I told Amy that I didn't think I was the right fit for the job. Amy suggested that I think about it - which I said I would do - without any real intention of doing so. But Amy, being Amy persisted and emailed me again in July about the job. By then - I had learned a couple of things about myself - first, that I didn't mind my own company and while others may have thought I was crazy with all of the one sided conversations, I actually found spending time with myself palatable; and second, that the idea of working abroad was intriguing - so here we are a month later with my move pending in one month. I definitely did not expect this to move so quickly. (To my Leadership folks - I tried to push the start date - but it was a no go - I am just glad that I will be able to join you for our Outward Bound day.) I thought I would be able to cruise through the rest of the summer and September - enjoying being unemployed for a little while - although I realize now that if I didn't have the job and move to plan - I might be terribly bored. It is not as much fun to be on summer vacation when no one else can play. I'm just not sure I'm ready to go back to work. I guess I have about 3 weeks to get ready.

God help me.

Feeling a little wistful already

First, the good news - my niece was born late Friday night - and thanks to technology I was able to be the first one (other than her parents) to see the beautiful Seva Gandhi - on skype. And, I am not the slightest bit biased - but she is gorgeous and I am in love.

Now the bad news - I have to leave Paris in just 3 days. I have had the most amazing time here and I cannot believe how quickly the time has gone. I have tried to soak in every moment.

After spending many weeks exploring Paris and learning its rhythms, coming back from the country made me appreciate it in wholly different way. My time in the country was wonderful - blissful as if I had been on a retreat. I feel centered and its a pleasant feeling. I arrived back on Wednesday - and I must say Jai did great on the trains despite what must be a frustrating experience for him - being leashed and not able to move freely.

We arrived back on Bastille Day to find that it had been a rainy mess thus far - so the picnics had been cancelled in lieu of meeting up at a bar. I went to the bar and met up with my friend Jodi and we left a bit later to go to Georges - which is a restaurant atop the Centre Pompidou - a place to see and be seen - it is one of the places where the staff is just plain snooty, dressed to the nines which shoes that even I think are impossible to walk in!

We enjoyed people watching over our champagne until it was time for the fireworks. They were amazing. I'm not really a fireworks person - but these seemed to me to dance in the sky by the Eiffel Tower. They went on forever and where beautiful.

Thursday, I finally visited a couple of museums I had been trying to get to and Friday I visited Belleville - it was very cool. The area is one of the most diverse that I have seen in Paris - stores with names in Korean, Chinese, Arabic and French - and a market that reminded me of markets in India or what I expect a market in Marrakesh to look like. There is also a lovely park in Belleville. I ended my walk at Pere LaChaise, a cemetary in the 20th where the likes of Chopin, Sandra Bernhardt and Jim Morrison are buried.

I arrived home and saw that my sister in law had gone into labor and so it was time to hunker down and wait....and wait....and wait... Finally at one am CET I learned that it would be at least 4 more hours so I went to bed and woke to find that my niece was here!!!! It is amazing the love you can feel for a child you have not yet held - but I know I will protect her with my life.

Saturday, Jai and I went to the flea market at St. Ouen - just outside Paris. It was pretty amazing - everything from furniture to jewelry to cheap sneakers and such were on sale. We walked around a bunch of shops and even saw Natalie Portman in one of the vintage clothing shops.

Saturday night was all about dancing. My friend Gina and I somehow decided that the two of us should split 3 bottles of wine (yes, you read that correctly) over the course of an evening and top it off with a beer at the end. At 4:20 I finally called it quits - I had an amazing night! So much fun and the dancing was great.

Sunday - I must admit, I was a little hung over - but managed to get out of the house to meet friends for brunch and then go to the Jardins of Luxembourg for a sangria afternoon - it was such a lovely way to spend a day in Paris - in the gardens, with friends with a Chopin concert in the background. I really have had so many days like that here. Just quietly lovely because of things that are ordinary in Paris.

Now, as the days wind down, I am starting to pack and I feel a tiny bit of sadness in my stomach. I wish a bit that I could slow down time but it seems gluttenous to ask for that since my time here has been more than I could ever have expected. I have truly been able to live in the moment here.

a vacation within a vacation

I feel like it has been a bit since I have last written although it has only been 5 days. On Thursday, I visited with Isabel and Nicolas - after promenading around the Pantheon and discovering yet another amazing market (pics to come shortly). Afterwards, I met up with a new friend, Jodi, a school teacher from Cali who is spending two months in Paris figuring out her own life, for a night out in the Bastille area. It was great fun - we had drinks and dinner at a cute cafe/restaurant and then went to a bar for a drink. It was there we learned a new cultural tradition - the "french kiss." I know what you are thinking, Swata, you have to know about the french kiss already.

We ran into 4 guys and a girl who were out celebrating what I think was one of the guy's birthdays. While we refused their offer to do shots, the girl came over to us and told us that it was her friend's birthday and he was a really good guy and the group wanted us to engage in a french kiss. Jodi and I looked at each other a bit dumbfounded. Shrugged our shoulders and said ok. What we realized is that they just wanted us to peck each of them on the lips. Easy enough and international controvery averted.

Phew.


Saturday, Jai and I took the train to Mont de Marsan in the Southwest of France. We met up with Nathalie and her children, Scott and Annabelle, and were picked up by Virginie to go to her home in St. Cricq. It was when we arrived that I remembered once again how lucky I am. Virginie lives with her children, Charles and Clara (totally adorable!) in what can only be described as a manor house. It was built in the 16th and 17th centuries originally and has been somewhat renovated but still has the stable house on grounds. It is like living in a pastural postcard. There are roosters and hens, cats for Jai to chase (although he does rather enjoy chasing the roosters too) and grounds galore, with a pool.

Seriously, I don't understand what I could possibly have done to have earned this. I sit outside and just breathe in the air. It is as if the real world just dissipates. You can sit in a hammock and just be. The kids love Jai - and throw cats at him for him to chase. I think he's having a great time drinking the cats' milk and eating their food (instead of his own - I guess the grass is always greener applies to animals too?). One of the cat's recently had three beautiful kittens who are still resting with their maman in one of the bathrooms.

Yesterday, I was included when the family went to see Charles take his promise in Boy Scouts. Scouts is very prominent here with Nathalie's son Max at Scout's camp for three weeks. Scouts here is also intertwined with religion so the ceremony included a full mass and then a cute ceremony where the boys who are taking their promise have to be invited into the troop by the boys in the troop by answering certain questions and completing certain tasks, like undoing knots.

Today, Annabelle, Clara and I went to visit a local castle - built in the 1700s and still lived in by descendants of the original owners. The original owners were within the court of Louis the 13th. It was so cute to see the girls entranced by the refrigerator within the walls (built into the wall) and the very small beds - because people slept in a somewhat sitting pose - a. because they feared that sleeping fully on the bed would put them in a position as they would be in death and they feared death, b. because they ate such grand meals and this was supposedly better for digestion and c. because they had such long hair and sleeping in repose made it easier for them to do their hair.

The chateau is still in use for marriage ceremonies and receptions every Saturday. It is truly quaint here and I have one more day to soak it all in before I return to Paris on Wednesday for Bastille Day.

Museums and Designer Shops

I don't know why I am so taken by all of the designer shops in this city. Today I walked down Avenue Montaigne which seems to be the center of haute couture in Paris (although it seems that many of these designers have shops elsewhere in the city). I walked past (because I could not even think about walking into these shops) Gucci, Chanel, Escada, Dolce & Gabbana and even Baby Dior - which I was tempted to go into but figured I should wait until I'm employed again. Sorry baby G. I did find a couple of outlet stores - one were I bought a very fantastic pair of very heels from Dolce and Gabbana at 2/3 off - I couldn't help it - they were calling to me. Sorry baby G. - I have an admitted shoe weakness.

The Avenue feels much like a movie set - I was waiting to catch a celebrity or two coming out of the stores (especially since it is Paris Fashion week) or to see a camera crew kicking me off the set. It has so much more charm than Beverly Hills or Fifth Avenue.

I turned off of Avenue Montaigne to Avenue du President Wilson lined with embassies and museums such as the museum of fashion (which was unfortunately closed for renovations) and made my way to the Trocadero. The Trocadero provides one of the best views of the Eiffel Tower and Champs de Mars - I really think the tower is best appreciated from a distance. Up close, you cannot appreciate its scale and grandeur.

My walks today were tinged with a bit of sadness as I realize that time has flown by and only two weeks remain in my trip. I'm currently reading a book called A Corner in the Marais by Alex Karmel. As you may recall, the Marais is where I am living and the area which he is describing in the book is very close to my first apartment so I know exactly the place he is discussing.

He says about Paris - that after visiting, leaving and then returning to Paris - he had the feeling "that coming back to Paris was coming home, and that leaving it - for what was, after all, my real home, was leaving something of myself behind as well." I have been fortunate in my life to have been able to travel a bit - but I have always had a special feeling for Paris and this phrase from Mr. Karmel is the closest I have ever gotten to describing that feeling.

Myra's visit part deux

As I told you already, Myra and Tracy returned to Paris late Sunday night. On Saturday after class, Tracy and I set out to wander around Montmartre and see Sacre Coeur - a beautiful white church about a 125 years old which sits on top of the hill.

Montmartre used to be an artist's enclave - some of the greats, Lautrec, Van Gogh and Picasso at one time each made the area his home. After walking around for a while you can see why. The windy hills, windmills and the whorehouses (which played a big role in Lautrec's work) make for a beautiful backdrop. Still located in Montmartre are some great cabarets and the Lapin Agile - which plays a role in Steve Martin's very funny play Picasso and Einstein at the Lapin Agile.

After viewing the artsy parts of the hood, Tracy and I wondered through the Cimitiere de Montmartre where Degas, Dumas and Zola among others are laid to rest. It seems so odd saying that I wandered around a cemetery, but it really makes for a pretty walk. We returned back to where we started near the Moulin Rouge - yes it still exists - and decided to take a jaunt through the Musee de l;Erotisme. It was not raunchy or seedy in the least. It contained wooden figurines, artwork, ceramics from cultures all around the world and was really informative about the role of sex and the erotic in different cultures. Interestingly, the museum outlined the ways in which sex was incorporated into the life of ancient cultures and was viewed as healthy and was supposed to be enjoyed. It was not until later times, such as those that we live in, that sex has taken on an air of seeming unseemly.

Tracy and I enjoyed a long walk home and rested before dinner at one of my favorite restaurants - the same one I took Myra to when she arrived. We had a fantabulous evening and ended it with a drink at the restaurant at Centre Pompidou which provides an amazing view of the city at night - you can see the Eiffel Tower, Sacre Coeur and Notre Dame (among others) lit up and sparkling in the Parisian night.

It was a great way to end a visit with mes amies.

A Fun Filled Fourth

This past weekend I was able to again rejoice in the marriage of my friends Nicolas and Isabel - this time around Paris. On Friday, I spent the day walking around Montparnasse in the 14th, including seeing the cemetary and enjoying a lovely bowl of moules and frites with an ice cold beer at the Academie de Biere (not really a school). The 14th is not a very tourist driven arondissement and while I don't think it is as quaint as say the 16th, it was nice to see a part of Paris that Parisians call home.

Friday night, Jai and I took the train to attend a party at Nathalie's. Parties here start at 11 - and end, at least this night, at 4. It was very very hard to get up Saturday morning - but I did, bright and early at 8 so I could come back home.

I tried to leave the party with Isabel and Nico Friday night, but unfortunately, the taxi driver refused to take Jai and the trains had of course stopped running by then. Saturday, I rode with some friends of Nico's about an hour and half outside of Paris for the wedding reception. I learned some very important things - for example - if you are invited for a lunch at 1, you don't show up any earlier than 1:30 or 2:00 since you must assume that the party throwers are not ready to receive you until then. So, showing up to the reception around 2, was not rude, but par for the course.

The reception was lovely and the ride had been quite pretty - I have to say, the French countryside I saw, was not altogether different than the countryside in the US. Since the reception was a bit in the country, I did not arrive home until after 9 - exhausted and ready to crawl into bed. Sunday morning was spent lazing in bed and reading before going to a 4th of July picnic.

A couple of the expat groups on Meet Up had organized a picnic at Bois de Boulogne. Armed with wine, water, bread, cheese and some olives, Jai and arrived at the picnic. Jai had a ball - he ran around off his leash, burrowed in the tall grasses when he was hot, rolled around in the grass and most importantly - was loved on by everyone and was able to sneak away some food from many picnickers - including a half round of blue cheese and a hot dog. I'm waiting to see what the effects of this are going to be. Let's hope that he has a steel stomache for now. I also had a lovely time meeting more folks coming to Paris to take a break from their everyday or having moved here and considering themselves lifers. It was nice to spend the Fourth surrounded by Americans.

I arrived home to tidy up since Myra and Tracy were returning to Paris from Italy for Monday. They arrived around 10:30 and we promptly set off for a very late dinner at Au Pied du Cochon (or Pig's Feet) a restaurant near the Church St. Eustache that serves food 24 hours a day.

Whilst I had a wonderful time this weekend, Monday morning arrived a bit too quickly for this vacationer.

Paris is on SALE!

Shopping in Paris can take on many forms. There are the high end stores like Louis Vuitton, Chanel, Yves St. Laurent - places that I'm too nervous to walk into. There are chic boutiques all around the city sporting up and coming and recognized but small shop designers. There are the global chain stores like H&M, Gap, Nike. And there are are consignment shops - carrying the high end items but at half or less than the designer cost.

In addition, - there are the "soldes" or sales - which until this year occur only twice a year - stores were required by the government to only put inventory on sale twice a year - in January and the end of June - for about a month each time. The economic downturn has forced the government to permit stores to do interim discounts - but these are not the soldes.

Earlier this week, on Tuesday, with Myra and Tracy in tow, we checked out a couple of the designer consignment shops - we perused through racks of Chanel, Ralph Lauren, YSL etc. and shoes - don't let me forget the shoes - yes, I know I have a problem, bags and other accessories. While we didn't do much buying, we definitely did a lot of looking - and yes, I found a pair of shoes at a steal (really, only 35E - more than 70% off) and a very very cute dress and matching coat for my niece (I'm aiming to corrupt her even before she is out of the womb because I am totally vying for the "cool aunt" title).

On Wednesday - the soldes began. Every shop has signs up for sales of 50-70% - now not everything is on sale, but there are plenty of options to peruse - in the boutiques and malls. I haven't checked to see if the haute couture items are on sale - but I doubt it and even if they were, they would still be way out of my price range.

Today, I went to the Defense area - a bit outside of Paris. It's what I would call the modern commercial area of Paris - skyscrapers and shiny buildings. It was built outside of the center of the city on purpose, so that the historic nature of Paris could be preserved. The metro and RER stations take you right into the mall - with tons of shops to peruse. I didn't find anything today, but since the sales go own for the next month - who knows what goodies may come home with me. I hope I don't have to buy a new bag - Oh well, at least it will be on solde.

an amazing dining experience

Today, I had a reservation at Guy Savoy - a 3 star michelin rated restaurant located in the 17th arondissment (but soon to be moving to the 6th). To say that the meal and actually the entire dining experience was fantastic - is putting it mildly.

I don't think I have ever eaten at a 3 star michelin rated restaurant (frankly, I don't know if I've eaten at a 2 star rated either) but when I started on this adventure in Paris, I promised myself to take advantage of the fine cuisine in the city - so please pardon my indulgence today.

Guy Savoy has a nondescript entrance that you could easily walk past without noticing if you didn't know what you were looking for.

We were greeted by the hostess and subsequently by two or three other waitstaff. (I went with my new friend Vanessa, who is also a recovering lawyer). As we were seated, a sommelier brought up a drink cart of aperitifs for our choice. Champagne of course!!

While we sat sipping our champagne and eating small toast points with foie gras on toothpicks, we perused the menu. I had barely started looking at the menu when the waitstaff brought a small stool to the table - and picked up my handbag and placed it on the stool - I kid you not, they made sure my bag was not on the floor. All I could think was, where am I? It just seemed unreal.

As we decided on our options, we were brought another amuse bouche from the chef, a cool soup in a bowl that resembled a double sided espresso cup - and on the other side a brilliant tuna tartar in a small pastry.

Then came the bread cart so we could choose from the various types of bread they had available today - with options on the table for butter with salt and unsalted butter. I was informed that the seaweed bread I chose would be better with salted butter. A few minutes after we buttered our bread - one of the waitstaff took the butter dish and replaced it with one that had not been use - I have never experienced anything like that before (and may never again) - but it was definitely an insight into the way the other half lives.

Next, we arrived a tiny and incredibly sweet plate of baby peas on a puree of same with a few drops of veal stock and excellent olive oil, a poached quail's egg that the waiter teasingly slit open with the point of his knife and a light scattering of mustard cress. It was delightful.

Vanessa and I both ordered one of the specialities of the house as our entree (appetizer) - artichoke and black truffle soup - it was sublime - and made even more so by being served with mushroom brioche - fresh and warm, buttered with truffle butter - which by the way, the waiters buttered for you.

We asked the waiter to choose our glasses of wine and he suggested a wonderful fruity yet substantive pinot noir - it complemented both my pigeon dish and Vanessa's chicken really well. This was followed by the cheese cart - we chose five different cheeses assisted by the waiter responsible for the cheeses (seriously). Even though we shared a dessert, it was not just the strawberry - I don't even know what to call it - it and served in a glass dish, on top of which was fine strawberry sorbet, with cubes of cooked strawberries around the side - I don't think I ever really appreciated the strawberry before, and a bit of chocolate ganache (we agreed that any more would have been too much chocolate), but also the earl grey sorbet and a tiny, delicious sample of a subtle apple tart ("tarte fine", on a very thin puff pastry, with apple sauce and then very thin apple slices on top, lots of butter and sugar involved in proportion to the apple - but it was fanatasic. We were also offered ice creams and marshmallows and options from a dessert cart.
This for me, was a dining experience like no other. There was not a thing I could have wanted that was not offered to me - including offering to call us a taxi, however after a 3 hour lunch, a walk was in order.

I apologize for the numerous pictures (and I was quite embarrassed as I took them) but to see the food is the only way to do the entire experience justice.

Away from the crowds

After a weekend of very touristy visits around Paris, Monday found Jai and I walking along in the beautiful Parc des Buttes Chaumont and the not so great Parc de la Villette. Both the parks are located in the 19th Arondissement - which is near the outskirts of the city lines. I've been told the park is manmade but that doesn't take away from the beautiful green space it provides. There are 3 miles of walking paths, a lake, a beautiful waterfalls and hilly green lawns (where people, but not dogs are permitted to laze around). Even more interesting views of the city - not the Paris I normally see, but beautiful nonetheless. As Jai and I sat and enjoyed the woodsy environment, a couple of ladies came and admired Jai (he is SUCH a ladies' man). The ladies realized I was american ( I try with my french, really, I do) and assumed Jai was french. When I advised them that no, Jai was american, one of the ladies remarked - (en francais), oh I love animals, but I can't speak english, while the other one tried to speak to Jai in english. It's an interesting thought, can Jai understand anything in French or English? I wonder if he can become bilingual?

From the parc de Buttes Chaumont, Jai and I walked to the Parc de la Villette. It is a modern park that holds the Museum of Science and Industry (apparently renowned, but not a stop on my list of museums I want to visit). The park also holds rides and games for children and the only IMAX theater in the city which is in the shape of a Geode. I can see this as a popular spot for concerts, open-air movies and for families, but it just wasn't my cup of team after the parc de Buttes Chaumont.

Myra's visit - Part One

Myra, and her friend Tracy (who arrived this morning) have left just this evening for Italy. Her visit was a nice interlude in my trip. As I mentioned before, I felt like I could take her around my city. On Saturday, after a long day Friday of walking around and enjoying an incredibly awesome meal at what has become a favorite restaurant, we went to see the Arc de Triomphe. It was built by Napoleon and stands as a memorial of the soldiers who have fought in the name of France. It is an amazing structure which stands in the perspective between the Louvre and the Arc de Defense. We climbed to the top (all 284 steps, not that I was counting) and enjoyed the beautiful view of the city - the Eiffel Tower to one side and Sacre Coeur and Montmartre to the other, with the Louvre to the north and the very modern Arc de Defense to the south. One of the more impressive monuments in Paris (and considering how many there are, that's saying something).

Unfortunately, after coming down the Arc, we walked down the Champs Elysees. I say unfortunately, because while the street is well known, it is not that impressive. We did stop in at Laduree - well known for its macaroons (not the chocolate coconut kind - but flavors of pistachio, framboise, coffee, chocolate, caramel) and spent some time gazing into the high end shops on the street.

Sunday, involved a trip back to the area to visit the Grand Palais and Petit Palais - both built as exposition halls for the 1900 World's Fair. Passing over Pont Alexandre III - with its gold gilded statues - we walked back to the Esplanades des Invalides and entered the very impressive Tomb of Napoleon - the casket - while seemingly large in marble - seems quite small in the huge tomb - perhaps a reflection of Napoleon's size in life?

On our way back home that day, we visited the Rodin Museum. I think if you have only time for a couple of museums in Paris, skip the Louvre - and see the Musee d'Orsay and the Rodin - you won't be disappointed. Rodin's skill as a sculpter is even something I can appreciate. The detail to the human form in the Thinker or the Kiss. Set in an old house with beautiful gardens - the museum itself or the grounds alone are worth a visit. Many of Rodin's famous sculptures are set outside in the gardens and can be appreciated without feeling crowded. As we waited in line to enter, Myra and I saw a few people with picnic baskets getting ready to spend a Sunday afternoon in the gardens!

I feel like Myra got to experience a mix of the tourist Paris and the feel of Paris in its cafes and restaurants.

Getting to Show off my city

Yes, I know, I'm not a Parisian. or French. But having lived here now for about a month I feel like I know this city - I understand a bit about its patterns and its rhythms. and lucky for me, my good friend Myra has come to visit. She arrived Friday morning - jet lagged - but full of energy. After she settled in - we set off to see the largest jewel in Paris' crown - the Eiffel Tower. In the time that I have been here, I have not gone to see the Eiffel Tower up close - just as part of the skyscape. I've seen it in the past, and I've even gone to the top. In all honesty, while I think you MUST see the Eiffel Tower if you come to visit - it is not my favorite landmark in Paris. (please don't tell).

However, since this was Myra's first visit to Paris - the Eiffel Tower was a must. The Tower has been around for over a century and is visually stunning - especially when lit up at night. When you see it for the first time, I think that the size of the Tower is surprising and I have to admit - very impressive. We walked away from the Eiffel Tower to the Parc du Champ de Mars toward the Ecole Militaire. I think it is at this point that you can truly appreciate the Eiffel Tower. You see it from a bit of distance and you can see how the imposing structure can become the symbol of a city and perhaps even the country.

We moved further away from the Eiffel Tower and saw the Hotel des Invalides - originally created by Louis the XIV for military veterans, it is now a museum of the military. However, it not this museum which draws your attention, but the grand structured emboldened in gold behind it - which is Napoleon's Tomb. Unfortunately, on this day, the tomb had closed so we weren't able to go inside. Instead we continued down Rue du Cler to what may now be my absolute favorite place in Paris.

We walked from the 7th arondissement to the tony 6th - to the amazing Rue de Grenelle. I was able to show Myra the change in the city's neighborhoods until we came to the end of the street and perhaps my mecca - the Christian Laboutin shoe store. Some people drool over chocolate - I drool for these shoes. I would do almost anything to have a pair - except that they cost way too many euros for me to justify the purchase. My birthday is in October by the way - just in case you were wondering...

In any event, I couldn't let the first visit end on a commercial note - so we walked along to catch a glimpse of Notre Dame. It is a sight that never ceases to awe me.

On Strike

There was a strike today in Paris by the transit workers to protest that they cannot retire at 60 anymore but at 62. This is not a new decision by the government - but the workers apparently wanted to remind us that they are still not happy about this. I learned about the strike yesterday on one of the blogs I follow. Now when such a strike occurs, it is not often that it is a full strike - meaning that the metro, the RER, the regional trains all continue to provide service but at less than 100% schedule. So for example, 6 out of 10 metros are coming, and 50% of the regional trains.

Striking is such a "foreign" phenomenon to Americans. For workers to go on strike, there have already been months of talks, negotiations and even possibly court rulings. Here, a decision is made, warning is provided and the next day a strike. But usually, strike light. Another example - Annabel (who is a friend's daughter) has school until the end of next week, but today, the teacher's are on strike. Why? Who knows? Does this mean that parents are scrambling to find day care? Nope. The schools are still open and students still go to school, but may find themselves in a classroom with upper or lower classmen but still with their friends. Tres Bizarre I think.

So last night, I went to Nathalie's in the suburbs so we could go together to a birthday party for a mutual friend. Transport last night was uninterrupted even though the strike began last evening. Nathalie and I left this morning at 8 to catch a train back to the city - she to give a presentation and me for my 9:00 am class. The first train to arrive was at 8:20 - normally the trains run every 8 or 9 minutes or so. The train was so crowded that a man actually got off on the verge of passing out. Which ultimately meant that there was NO possible way that Jai could get on that train and survive. So Jai and I waited patiently for an entire hour before we could get on a train where it wasn't so crowded that we both be squished. For sure a small inconvenience - but I did miss my class :-( and learned a lesson - try and stay close to home when there's a strike.

Fete du Musique

What is Fete du Musique? Every June 21 in the fine country of France, amateur musicians are permitted to play in the streets. So you can walk around the 5th and 6th Arondissements as I did, and hear a bunch of rock bands playing songs from the 80s, 90s etc. or go around the corner of your own neighborhood and see some jazz musicians, a quartet, Arab music by the Institut du Arab etc. It is such a great way to celebrate the coming of summer.

In fact, this year it seems it really was the welcome to summer. The weather here has been unseasonably cool - in the 50s and 60s, until Tuesday when it suddenly has blossomed into beautiful summer weather.

Just another Tuesday

I had an amazing day in Paris Tuesday. Although I can't say that any of the days that I have been here has been a disappointment, today was really sweet. After my class this morning, I ran some errands grocery shopping in the market nearby to my apartment. My friend Myra is coming to visit at week's end so I needed to make sure I had some fresh cheese and of course Champagne ready! Afterwards, Jai and I got ready to talk a walk to the Bastille area and then to Bercy. On our way, we ran into Shirley, a woman from Australia, who lives here part-time and lives in Perth the rest of the time. She is in my french class as well. We ran into each other as she was on her way to Place de Voges and I on my way to the Bastille and we started talking (en anglais, of course). Since we kept talking, we decided we should have a coffee (translation - glass of wine) in the early afternoon before we each went on our way. I love living in a place where a lunchtime glass of wine is not frowned upon!

She is leaving Paris on the 6th of July, but we realized we both wanted to visit Versailles so we may go together next week, and that we both enjoy good food, so may check out a good restaurant before she leaves as well. Serendipity for me! While I do not mind at all dining alone, I find that it is not the usual thing in Paris to dine alone at fine restaurants, so its nice to have someone to drag along with me.

After leaving Shirley, Jai and walked to the Bastille area and walked down what is called the Viaduc des Arts. It is an entire street where artisans practice there trades - you can see people creating jackets on small looms, watch someone fix a guitar, buy some beautiful jewelry, or furniture. We then veered off to Bercy Park - it is a park along the Seine in an area of town that is more modern than where I live - but still very pretty. Bercy itself used to be a separate town famous for wine trading. Now it has a great park where dogs are permitted on the grass and permitted to run without leashes!!! Jai had a ball!

Along the Seine I saw the most awesome use of a barge type of boat - the boat itself was a pool - the bottom floor was the pool and the top portion was for sun bathing - it was like the top two floor of a cruise ship. It seems like such a great idea for a place like Baltimore or Washington - frankly anywhere that has a Harbor/River - during the warm months you can get a membership at a pool, maybe with a bar, and the rest of the year, the ship is docked.

Anyway, Jai and I finally made our way home before I went to this cute little restaurant in the Marais called the Tete Ailleurs. Dimmed lights, fabulous food and some jazz playing the background. I loved the food and the people were so nice. I chatted with the hostess a bit and got to practice my french.

A simple but sweet day in Paris

What I like about you...

So last night I went on a date - a real live, actual date - with a frenchie. He is a sweet guy, who speaks not so great english with a sweet french accent and tolerates my very bad french. It was fun - we went out near the Bastille neighborhood that I had visited this past week. I was happy to be surrounded by people who actually live in Paris and not be in a touristy place. Paris seems to have a great nightlife - one I've been ignoring a bit - and which I expect to take more advantage of. Going out did not remind me of any of the places in Baltimore (quelle surprise!) but did remind me a little of London with people spilling out of the bars and drinking in the street. Which may have as much to do with the great number of people who still smoke when smoking is now prohibited in bars. A welcome change for me. I had a great time - even if he wasn't the right guy - sorry.

But it did make me think about some of the people I met in class who are visiting their boyfriends here in Paris - the boyfriends don't speak Russian or English (as the girls do) or speak it poorly, and the girls didn't know any French. It made me wonder how you have a relationship with someone when there is such a language barrier - how do you know you've understood what the other person said - when they are being sarcastic, funny etc. I feel like things get lost in translation even when the two people speak the same language - how much gets lost in translation when they don't? What happens if they hate being spiritual and you've misunderstood what they said and you think they are spiritual and that's important to you? How do you know if match up politically? I guess what I'm wondering is that even though it is hard to know anyone completely - how do you get to the point of knowing someone at all if you don't speak the same language - enough to consider moving to Paris to be with that person? Or is this something that is easier than I think?

Thoughts?